Club owner: “We’re going to leave the TVs on during the Playoffs, but we’ll turn the sound off.”

Me: “Why don’t you leave the sound on and I’ll pantomime my act?”

Club owner: “Uh… no.”

Me: “Or you could pay me for tonight and we’ll reschedule for a time when you want to be just a comedy club instead of a comedy club/sports bar hybrid.”

Club owner: “We’ll turn the TVs off.”

Me: “Good idea.”